Are you sure you need dessert?
Mommy was happy when I was good. I was good when I was quiet. I was good when I did what I was told. Then I got older And Mommy wanted me to be pretty too. She said— “If you let me pluck your eyebrows I’ll take you to Marble Slab” That’s the fancy place… Continue reading Are you sure you need dessert? →
Law of Energy Transfer
Searching for love is like trying to catch lightning in a bottle. The trick is– You can’t close the lid for anything less. Not fireflies. Not stars. Those things can burnout. When you catch lightning– When you feel its energy– You’ll know it will stay lit forever. *Inertia can add to the thrill of the… Continue reading Law of Energy Transfer →
Open up, pour the gas, strike the match
Remember the big blue pills you would set on my tongue? Make me open up so you could inspect that everything was gone. So you could know you did everything you could It’s me that’s wrong It’s me that’s broken It’s me you can no longer control. But you did everything you could It’s not… Continue reading Open up, pour the gas, strike the match →
Grief as mass
I cried, I exhaled air moved slow it had viscous I weighed less it floated away My dad sat next to me today
Murder in Stockholm
I dreamt his wickedness dead- no one knew until I solved the mystery of where when how and then the blank bodies faces I can’t remember if they had one at all I ask them- Did he die? they all say yes as if they knew, as if I told them December 2nd was the… Continue reading Murder in Stockholm →
Let me get you some water
Take it easy on yourself Isn’t that what I’m here for, doc- Can you show me what I don’t know? what it means to not find fault in perfection like my mother-about my body the way I chew I’m grown now and I keep my distance throwing medals backwards They don’t belong to me I… Continue reading Let me get you some water →
Mislabeled Clown Makeup
Boxed up my trauma, needed to contain it Placed it in storage in the back of my head My access is blocked but it works as a liquid- dull suffer leaking like a virus Too small to see, just not to feel the cloud consuming my chest But it had to come from somewhere, didn’t… Continue reading Mislabeled Clown Makeup →
You said you were worried & I held onto it like a treasure
I was not invisible You could see me in the wading crowd not another faceless mask ,floating into a train, but it was my face You saw it burnt, bent The way it had frozen ,stuck in place, You also saw my tethers bounded, chained No one else saw what I carried ,down the same… Continue reading You said you were worried & I held onto it like a treasure →
Windshield
caved in, like glass cracks still hold, if tension does not let go- the pain; be the shield, even though I’m made of glass? stay safe, stay numb stay tethered and tense don’t break- you’ll shatter build a new? salvage shards distort the view ahead, if we’re clear you can see I didn’t break from… Continue reading Windshield →
Declaration to Self
To my true self, I am sorry I abandoned you to become a version of myself more easily digestible to people I wanted to like me. I am sorry I got lost in the tangle of trying to understand what the world wanted from me, rather than asking you what you need. I got so… Continue reading Declaration to Self →
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Andi Van den Berge 